Day 21

The title should perhaps be called Day 1, since the quest of no PMO "failed" yesterday because of two O's with a girl. But since the event neither included P nor M, I think I can go on with the old day count. All in all, I feel great. I was a little worried about the possible chaser effect today, but although there were some desires, everything went fine. I think the most important parts in the whole recovery progress have been sport and social life - if it weren't for those, I probably would have had a lot more trouble. I think I have a lot more energy now and physical exercise seems to become easier and easier every week. Of course, this would happen in any case as the physical condition improves, but the progress has been simply tremendous in the last few weeks.

I also noticed that S with a girl was quite great as I did not worry about reaching O, that was definitely a new and nice experience. The whole SB thing is definitely paying off at all areas of my life.

Day 13

Yesterday evening after the shower I had some urges and, unfortunately, I could not help "peeking". I did not watch P exactly, but I looked at galleries of pretty girls in minimal clothing, which probably activates the same brain circuits and gave my brain the fix it was looking for. I also quickly peeked at some hardcore stuff that I have on the computer. Although I quit before anything really happened, that was probably not good for my recovery. The quest of no PMO is still solid on the MO part, but the P part is shaking, which is really unfortunate.

Luckily I got to read some testimonials later in the evening and got convinced that the happiness of last two weeks is not a coincidence. I really feel more confident, social and good-looking, which is contributing to the new birth of my social life. Of course, there is still a long way to go. My libido is not that strong, the strong morning reaction I had one morning has not returned and I still have not dreamed of being with real girls. So it is probably for the best that I have no girlfriend at the moment, and things should stay that way for at least a month or so.

I haven't set a clear goal of how far I want to go, and I still won't. I just feel too weak for that. I'm also a little worried about the possibility encountering the chaser effect in case I relapse. I just need to make up my mind that I won't relapse. I refuse to.

Day 10

Wow, it's already day... 10? I had basically forgotten all about this rewiring thing for a few days. On one evening I had some desires to look at naughty pictures, but luckily I stopped in time. Once again, it wasn't really abou wanting to do that, it was just my brain wanting to do what it has been used to doing. I haven't had any morning reactions for a few mornings now. I'm just living my simple life and enjoying it. Luckily I have hobbies and friends to keep me busy.

Day 7

During the weekend I did not have an opportunity to sleep that well, so yesterday evening I decided to go early to be bed. At 4 am I woke up with a very strong 10-15 minute reaction, that was definitely the first time that has happened in ages. And I did not even feel that horny, I just started to think about this cute girl I met. After an hour or so I managed to fall asleep, but the dreams were quite weird and I did not sleep that well. In the dream some army friends or such were encouraging me to relieve myself in the bath room and even gave a soft magazine for the purpose. I wanted to go, but I did not manage to find a private toilet anywhere. At some point I then met this cute girl, who offered to give a hand, but we ended up in this weird gym where people were doing push-ups and such in the shower, wearing clothes. And I felt quite good just doing the push-ups, forgetting the whole magazine thing. Now that's interesting.

I'm starting to think that this whole experiment is definitely starting to pay off already after a week. I've had some problems with sleeping, but haven't noticed that I would be ill-tempered or anything like that. I'm starting feel quite good being a man and can't wait to see what happens this week.

Day 5

Still no activity, nothing. But I enjoy life anyway. Some insomnia, could be related to something else.

Day 4

No feelings whatsoever down there. Feeling ok.

Day 3

Moderate reaction in the morning, but no desires whatsoever during the daytime. Feeling good but quite tired.